19 SECRETS YOU MUST KNOW
BEFORE ATTEMPTING ARGENTINE TANGO

1. Argentine Tango will not bring to the surface any new self-discoveries that you are not, in some sense, already aware of. However, with bewilderment, you will discover the mastery with which you have so perfectly hidden your silly lack of fulfillment from yourself.

2. Your life is already perfect as is. You have everything you always dreamed of. Your being here, on this planet has a purpose, and you know what it is. If nothing is bothering you, you can stop scanning this page and never again think of Tango.

3. If something is consuming you from the inside, that simply means you are incredibly scrumptious. So much so that the entire Cosmos is trying to suck that ambrosian flavor out of you. Your entire un-fulfillment is just the mirage windmill. When you look at Argentine Tango, think of it as a Don Quichotte.

4. When most people look at Argentine Tango, it reminds them of an old fashion couple dance. Others think of it as a dance that embodies passion, flying legs, and rose in the mouth. We could now point you to Red Bull or some other personality test or run some psychoanalysis based on what you think Tango is or isn't, but that would take lots of time and thousands of dollars. And it will still not answer the 'Why you are here' question. Simply registering for our Beginner Course takes about two minutes and costs about a hundred fifty bucks.

5. Argentine Tango does not directly alter your future or influences your immediate now. It does not know if you are or are not happy with your current state of affairs or whether your partner is happy with you. Even if it did, it has yet to master how to share the truth or any inclination to discover the truth for you.

6. We limit each user to one attempt. The value of Tango lies in its limits. Any more than one attempt to decipher the Tango, and you might as well consult the wide variety of other dances that are already available to you and that have so far not done you any good.

7. IT'S JUST A DANCE is a common argument, often cited as the proposed value on many dance teaching institutions. We would argue that the real value is in finding yourself and relearning how to feel SOMETHING.

8. We can only freely share what we know in one manner through an on-demand online course. The current times demand it; current technology enables it. You may want your lessons in person. You can argue that online learning is less than perfectly designed for human brain comprehension; you can argue that the human brain is less than perfectly designed for online learning. You can bicker, you can dispute, you can argue.

9. In no way is learning Tango online meant to replace in-person learning. But we cannot touch everyone in the world in person. Thus, we do it online.

10. We do not withdraw from challenging discussions, including Tango being a cult, a church, religion, and philosophy.

11. We had seen enough to tell you —and despite malicious rumors—there are absolutely no circumstances under which the awakening that Tango will bring to you or any other personal information will be shared with direct-marketing companies or any other persons or organizations. Your acts of falling apart and rebuilding yourself are much safer with us than with Facebook. As safe as they would be with a psychotherapist, attorney, or pastor, give or take the necessity of acquiring a wardrobe full of suits and high slit dresses or array of shoes.

12. If you are convinced that you do not need to learn Argentine Tango but that your kids, parents, grandparents, possibly your spouse, or sibling do, you could be right. Couldn't you?

13. Maybe you are here thanks to a brother, sister, best friend, or lover. You are here because someone you respect came to us and learned or experienced something greater than them. Something empowering that changed or clarified their life. You arrived to inquire into our methods, quiz our skills and demonstrate to this person that the whole Argentine Tango philosophy is nonsensical, that he or she has been, will you term it, 'brainwashed." We plead guilty to peeling the nasty layer of self-deception from our students' thoughts, but perhaps this isn't what you are trying to say. We embrace you as we embraced all others. We solely challenge you to ask yourself: Why? Why am I so suspicious of this person's newfound happiness or self-awareness about whom I voice to care? Am I genuinely assiduous in caring for this person's well-being, or am I simply on detox from feeling relentlessly supreme? These are not such comfortable questions to ask yourself, so another option to consider is finding the answers in Tango.

14. We are in no rush to give the rationale behind Tango, and even less interest in exonerating or promoting it. If you intend today to think of the Tango as a kind of old-fashion, outdated dance, then today, you will think of the Tango as a kind of old-fashion, outdated dance. We will risk being impertinent by encouraging you to let Tango find you again later when you are ready.

15. Do you feel that your life is a lengthy freefall? One warning - Tango will not parachute you. However, it will let you see flowers and bees as you are falling.

16. If you believe that the mysterious behavioral changes you have seen in your already tangoing friends' approach to life, suggest that your friends are better, luckier, smarter, or more virtuous than you are - bear in mind that many reputable and disreputable establishments offer dance lessons. You don't have to take Tango.

17. Believing in six impossible things before breakfast is a virtue, and it might be entirely possible that your comrades plainly are better, more intelligent, or more high-minded than you. However, the probability that they are not born with a silver spoon in their mouth, is high. It is far-fetched, though not thoroughly impossible that the Tango will help you find out. While always invigoratingly sincere, Tango prides itself on being mysterious, discreet, and tactful. You can feel it, though you cannot put it in words.

18. You may remove Tango out of your life if you choose to do so. The removal, though, will always be equivalent to trying to forget something or someone that touched you extremely deep, which is to say: perfectly imperfect.

19. You already know what the Tango is going to teach you. That white lie that you blinded yourself with, not to hurt your own personal feelings, and that now feels like a mask you can no longer take off. You know about it. It is you who started the lie and you who nominated it for truth and stayed within it. The zero-correction glasses you are wearing to mask your choice of looking away. It is foreseeable that you already know what you will find if you let yourself feel. You already know whether you're going to learn the Tango. So why are you still reading this? START YOUR FREE TRIAL NOW!

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